


Coming Right Back Home to You

by spacegirlstuff



Series: Suptober 2020: Supernatural [4]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Castiel and Dean Winchester Fight, Castiel and Dean Winchester in Love, Emotionally Hurt Castiel (Supernatural), Emotionally Hurt Dean Winchester, Established Castiel/Dean Winchester, Heavy Angst, I Will Go Down With This Ship, M/M, Suptober (Supernatural)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-28
Updated: 2020-10-28
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:28:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27243463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spacegirlstuff/pseuds/spacegirlstuff
Summary: Suptober 2020Prompt 20: Home~~~All Castiel had ever wanted was to protect Dean.But how can you protect someone when all you do is cause them pain?How can you say that you love someone when all you are capable of is torture?He was an angel, incapable of emotions. He was a soldier, made to follow orders. All he could do was cause destruction.He could still hear Dean shouting at him, venom laced with every word he spoke.The next time you leave, don’t ever come back!~~~
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Series: Suptober 2020: Supernatural [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1986451
Comments: 8
Kudos: 43





	Coming Right Back Home to You

**Author's Note:**

> Title from 'If I could Fly' by One Direction.  
> I heard the song and all I could think about was destiel and I just had to write something and that's how this was born.  
>  __  
> This is a continuation of[Please Don't Go](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27231442). If you haven't read it then you can check it out first

_ ‘If I could fly, _

_ I'd be coming right back home to you. _

_ I think I might give up everything,  _

_ Just ask me to.’ _

_ ~~~ _

Sitting in a deserted park about 20 minutes away from the bunker, Castiel looked up at the sky, light rain falling on his face, washing away all remnants of the tears as they slid down his cheeks, mixing with the raindrops. His trench coat and suit were drenched after staying out in the downpour for the better part of the last almost three hours, but he didn’t pay them any attention. 

The soothing sound of the falling rain usually lulled him into a deep trance, but tonight, not even the rhythmic patter of the rain was able to numb the pain in his heart. He closed his eyes, trying his best to calm down.

Dean’s voice echoed in his head,  _ Do you have any idea how much it hurts us? Hurts me? _

He groaned, his hands in his hair, pulling them until it hurt. He never wanted to hurt them. He never wanted to hurt anyone, especially Dean. Dean was the most important person to him, and all he had ever wanted was to protect him from everything. 

_ But how can you protect someone when all you do is cause them pain? How can you say that you love someone when all you are capable of is torture? _

He was an angel, incapable of emotions. He was a soldier, made to follow orders. All he could do was cause destruction. No matter how hard he tried, all he did was cause irreparable damage.

He remembered, a long time ago, standing in front of a room, eyes trained on the righteous man, Hester had said,  _ The very touch of you corrupts. When Castiel first laid a hand on you in Hell, he was lost! _

But maybe Castiel had always been lost. He remembered never being able to fit in with his brothers and sisters. Even before he met Dean, he was always the angel who stood out, the one who questioned orders, the one who always had  _ too much heart _ . 

_ Saving Dean _ from hell had felt like the start of a new story.  _ Touching Deans’ soul _ had felt like a breath of fresh air.  _ Putting Dean back together _ , Castiel for the first time had felt a  _ purpose _ . 

For the first time in his life, he was sure of who he was; he felt like he had a purpose.  _ Gripping Deans’ soul _ as he flew across the depths of hell, Castiel knew that he had found something that he was ready to fight for, to die for. Being a soldier, Castiel had always been ready to die for the people he cared for, but Dean soon became the person whom Castiel wanted to  _ live  _ for.

For Castiel, meeting Dean had felt like  _ coming home _ . Even after being banished from heaven, losing his wings, losing his grace, Castiel had never felt truly homeless. Because for him, Dean had become his home. 

But now, sitting in the middle of an abandoned park, he was sure that he had lost his home. Because  _ Dean  _ didn’t want him around anymore. Dean had had enough, he had reached the end of his patience. He had tormented dean many times in the last decade that they had known each other and now dean was done suffering because of him.

_ The next time you leave, don’t ever come back! _ He could still hear Deans’ voice ringing in his ears as the words left his mouth. He could still see Deans’ head hanging low, avoiding eye contact as the truth finally slipped past his lips. 

And so he had walked out. Because he couldn’t bear staying there a second longer, knowing that he was hurting the people he loved. He was not strong enough to look into those green eyes and accept the apology that Dean was moments away from saying. He had to stop, and so he left.

The buzzing of his phone brought him back to the present. Fumbling a bit, he retrieved the device from his pocket, tensing slightly when he read the name flashing on the screen.

_ Dean _

Castiel knew that he shouldn’t accept the call. Because he knew that Dean was calling him to apologize, to ask him to come back. And Castiel knew that he would go back to the bunker the second Dean asked him to. He knew that he would crawl into Deans’ arms and soak in all the love that the hunter gave him, even when he was not worth it.  _ Because he was selfish and greedy _ . His heart called out for Dean, even when his brain told him not to. 

When it came to Dean, Castiel was a weak man. And thus, he accepted the call. Bringing the phone to his ears, he took in a small breath.

“Cas?” a voice croaked out from the other side of the line.

“Hello Dean,” he replied softly, his voice cracking midway. 

“Angel,” Dean sobbed, “I’m  _ so sorry _ . I didn’t mean what I said.”

“Dean, it’s-” the angel tried to cut the hunter off.

“I was not thinking straight.” Dean continued, his voice breaking “I know shouldn’t have said that, but I was  _ so angry  _ at everything. I know that that is no excuse for what I did, but please don’t be mad at me. Please don’t hate me”

“I don’t-” Castiel tried again.

“Please forgive me.” Dean ignored him, “Please don’t go away. Please come back home, angel. Please come back to me. I don’t know what I will do if you don’t.”

“Dean,” Cas said in a stern voice, “You don’t have to ask for forgiveness because I was never angry at you.”

“I am still sorry,” Dean said in a soft voice.

“I know,” Castiel replied.

“I  _ need _ you here with me,” The hunter spoke, sincerity clear in his voice.

“If I could still fly,” Castiel said, “I’d be coming right back home to you.”

“And what about heaven?” he asked.

“I already chose you over heaven more than once before,” The angel said truthfully, “I’d give up everything all over again for you. All you had to do was ask.”

Castiel heard Dean inhale sharply. After a brief pause, he said, “I love you, angel.”

Castiel smiled softly, “I love you too, Dean.”

“So what now?” Dean questioned, “You are coming back right?”

“Yes, darling,” Castiel said. “Twenty minutes and I’ll be home,”

“I’ll be waiting,” Dean replied.

_ Getting up from the park bench, he made his way back to the bunker, back home, back to Dean.  _

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Hope you all like it!  
> You can find me on [tumblr!](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/spacegirlstuff)  
> Kudos and comments make my day!  
> Drop down below and tell me what you think!


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